Behaving badly again

I’m trying to tell myself this morning that I just need a new perspective and then I can change my bad attitude. With an infection in pretty much every orifice above the chest-line, let’s just say that my outlook is a little dreary.

So far in the minutes that I have been awake, I’ve snapped at my 6 year old for trying to get me to read his reader with him...hello, I can’t see the page for the gunky ointment in both my eyes!!! And I flicked the youngest on the top of his head for running circles around me with the ‘Little People’ bus (slightly ashamed of that one, but if I had the strength I would chuck that bus far, far into outer space), which sent my overloaded sensory receptors into...well...overload. Then when he knocked my sorted colour swatches off the desk, whooh, I won’t repeat that spectacular outburst in a public forum.

*Sigh* I have whinged to my husband that I couldn’t taste the latte for the phlegm (his fault, of course), couldn’t find the school socks because of someone else’s incompetency (ahem...), and have narrowly drawn up short of eating my eldest child for telling me that he didn’t want any banana, thank you very much. Ouch. I look more like McEnroe’s evil twin sister than a nurturing, suburban mother...

Carol Brady has left the building.

Blah, I hate being sick. Needless to say, my family hates it even more. Not only have I lost my charm, let’s just say that any tenuous claim that I had on ‘good looks’ has decidedly snapped overnight. A shower and some toothpaste would go a long way to helping there.

I’m a train wreck.

In my head, I know that all I need is a change of mental context. In the grand scheme of things, my little health meltdown is a pathetic hiccup. Potentially, I could have woken up with a condition that would separate me from my family permanently; I might not have even woken up at all today. But I did...bet they’re all happy about that.

I feel the pressure to act better, but lack the strength to do it. Have you ever been behaving badly...say, fighting with your spouse and being a cow (I never have, but you probably do it...) and then the phone rings and you switch into sweet-as-pie mode? It’s a bit tricky to hang up the phone and continue the previous conversation. And rather humbling...

I know we let it all out with those that are closest to us, but I believe that to be a mistake. A bit of big-picture-perspective would go a long way to helping my relationship stresses.

Now, where is that box of Panadol? MARK!!!